Chapter 10
Full moon always presented not just an extra-planetary body but an epitome of pulchritudinous, exuberance and love, but then even those expressions reached to newer dimensions when you found moon floating on the crystal-like waters of Ganges in Hardwar.
In Hardwar, one could always felt the lovely lady named Ganges, embellished with beads of those rare stones, which were so worthless that they looked rare, an embrace that was as cold as peace, a smile which was as congenial as one’s own self and an aura binding whole universe in one spirit. He has spent many moonless nights and at the banks of Ganges sitting alone, and today he deserved all that beauty being blessed to him. But in his opinion, moonless nights cajoled the lovely lady to unleash her self and yes she really looked one heart writhing beauty. On these nights, he always felt her behaving like swaying in his lover’s arms and one night he felt her telling this to him.
Floating on the heavens was it in his arms,
Twitching in the air was I clasping for all of him, in his arms,
Sashaying through the distance were the emotions spuriously in his arms,
There was a aroma of that unknown yet nostalgic in his arms,,
I excruciated, inebriated, exalted in his arms,
Across the aisle, I can sense his pulses and nothing was in senses in his arms,
There were lights in his eyes and yet it was darkness all around, in his arms,
He touched, tickled, swiveled, squelched, and I was all her’s, in his arms,
I twisted, creaked, quarreled to be liberated to effuse in his arms,
Because there was universe beyond, yet it was like destiny, in his arms
Gaurav was nomadic, insane, anti-conventional, Insomniac or out of his senses, as he had this habit to spend many nights on the banks of Ganges counting the stars and concluding to the fact that they were uncountable .He had a problem or a problem too many. His rheumatic self was the effect of his undying quest for Whys in this world.
When people are leaving out ‘y’s in spellings to make things short, savvy and suave, he was quite obviously choosing a road less travelled by. But then he had reasons and the reason was to cater for reasons. Now, without any doubt he was normal at 21, his current interest was in love and life. What’s love? Why Sanatan, his roommate still loves the same girl, whom he had not seen since last six years and had talked a few times? Why Divya , his wing mate loved every girl and talked only about sex? Why Pravin,the serious bloke shied away when they asked love? Why Ranjan talked about his heroics of screwing seven girls yet she loved ‘Akanksha’ from the core of the heart? Why Singhai such a frightful figure also had a girlfriend? Why Amrit Vaish whom they lovingly called ‘Vaishya’, i.e., prostitute had two girlfriends and he had none? Why it was so that there were many girls, seeing whom he felt he could have fallen in love with any of them, and yet he fall for none? Why all of them thought him as a ‘Love-expert’ yet he had no qualification worth boasting?
Amongst all those invoke, he heard a sound it was strange and at the banks of Ganges at 12:23 in night, I assure you it is frightening. The sound followed another and now he was pulled back from all whys to what? The sound was substituted by some decrepit images or was they premature? His visions were giving him pretensions tonight but then he felt a girl standing there on the other side of river. It was love at first sight, not because of her looks but he felt she was like ushering love all around her and he was mesmerized. But doubtless to say, she could have made anyone fall in love with her just because of her looks. Her purity in white was being doped by those incandescent smiles which reflected impunity. Those wide eyes and kohl were matched by that Kamarbandh of gold on her waist, but what was most intriguing was he lost her whenever he tried to look her in complete as herself. He was having a feel of those charismatic repertoires but yet he found her complete-self invisible. Maybe the images were still premature. But then Why was one thing he had completely forgotten tonight. She was like emotions in dance, Feelings & expressions in ragas and love infused into word life. She was there floating like on the heavens on the other side of river or maybe she was just in his arms or maybe she was there in the water.
He shied away her face as he felt she splashed the water. But then maybe those visions were premature. He suddenly felt like of many a whys he sought for, she can give answer for few.
“Are you real or I am dreaming?”
“Reality is what you perceive, so it’s you who can better say that.”
“Okay then I need to know why you are you looking so beautiful to me?”
“Because you are able to perceive me as beautiful.”
“Do you mean to say there’s nothing like beauty in the world? It all lies in the eyes of beholder/”
“No, beauty doesn’t lies in your eyes, but it lies in your mind, how you understand the term beauty, How you understand the term beauty?”
“Do you think I understand the term beauty?”
“Anyone who can perceive reality in this world must be understanding beauty, because reality is the most beautiful thing in this world.”
“What’s beauty of a girl?”
He felt her invisible. Was he not perceiving reality?
“Hey where were you gone?”
“I was always here; I told you my presence depends on your perceiving abilities.”
“I think I should change the question. What’s love?”
What do you think it is?”
“I am confused.”
“Then I think I won’t be able to answer, because once again if you are not able to perceive reality in context of love, I won’t be a help.”
“I am really confused.”
“But I can really feel you are saying something.”
“That’s what I want to understand.”
He continued,
“They say in love people understand what even they are not able to say, how so? As you are understanding it right now.”
“Love binds you to the reality, whenever you stretch your hands and feels the molecules of air giving a chill down your spine; you should feel this is love.”
“Now I’m confused again.”
“This is nothing but your unwillingness to feel yourself.”
“Now, you are maybe confused too, right now you were saying love is all about understanding the molecules of air, i.e., understanding the reality around you,”
“ You know the greatest truth is people stop loving the day they start feeling their own self, Love is nothing else but feeling your own self, understanding one’s own existence, love is not about sacrifices but possessing, you can love one for only one reason ,i.e., your own happiness and for nothing else ,everything else is a paradigm.”
“So, it doesn’t matter the other is happy or not.”
“You are still not perceiving reality; there are no immature images, try seeing it clearly.”
“You know I can see myself in your eyes.”
“And if I believe in love, I will also be able to see myself in your’s”
“I think you are quite visible to me now, or is just moonlight’s effect.”
“Light have always been made scapegoat for one’s eyes inability.”
“I think I am understanding things.”
“I think I should go now as you are still understanding things and not able to see them clearly in front of you.”
“Oh no no, I still can see myself in your eyes.”
He asked,
“Why are you telling all this to me?’”
“Do you think it’s me who’s telling all this to you, do you think any one else can make anyone perceive reality?”
